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It always makes us laugh when people accuse us of only having one song. Jimmy's Everywhere we go song is sung the most often, but then that's often because people who join the Army for a day or two who really want to sing it. But look around the Barmy Army stand and you'll usually see someone with a pen and bit of paper writing a new ditty. And to prove it here's just a few that have been created in the last few weeks. The first two are by Gareth Taylor.

To the tune of Little by Little

Siddle by Siddle,
You bowl us everything we ever dreamed of,
Siddle by Siddle,
The wheels of your team are slowly falling off,
Siddle by Siddle,
You always bowl a ball that goes for 4,
And all the time,
Ponting asks himself why, are you really here

Why are you really here?
Why are you really here?
Why are you really here?

And one for Ian Bell that may need a bit of work

Call out the Sherminator,
There's some swing in the air,
He's gonna get a ton sooner or later,
If you keep on bowling there,
Bell is dy-na-mite!

David Price  came up with this:

Sung to tune of 'You've l Lost that Lovin' Feeling' (Righteous Brothers)

You always close your eyes every time Jimmy bowls
And there's no tenderness like before in your fingertips.
(interspersed shout) Except for Haddin!
You're trying hard not to show it, (Ricky).
But Ricky, Ricky we know it...

You've lost that Aussie aura,
Whoa, that Aussie aura,
You've lost that Aussie aura
Now it's gone...gone...gone...wooooooh.

You've lost that Aussie aura,
Whoa, that Aussie aura,
You've lost that Aussie aura
The Ashes are gone...gone...gone...wooooooh.

The there's this one by Susan Smith

Sung to the tune of "Locomotion" by Kylie Minogue:

Everybody's bowling the Aussie's out now,
Come on England, take another wicket,
Bowl it in the block hole, and you'll have their stumps out,
Come on England, take another wicket

The village cricket team, could do it with ease,
They're easier to bowl out than the West Indies,
So come on, come on,
Bowl the Aussies out before tea

You gotta swing the ball now,
Come on England, get on the attack,
And then we'll have the Ashes back!

And while we're at it here's on for Graham Onions we're going to try to get going at Headingley.

To the tune of Hey Jude

Onions
You bowl it well
They've got Johnson
But you're much better

Onions, when you peel the batsmen will cry
They'll wonder why
You're Graham Onions, Onions, Onions, Onions...

Nah nah.... Onions.

Want more? How about this for Matt Prior:

The animals came on  two-by-two..

He drops a few but we don't care Matty Matty
He likes a drink and so do we Matty matty
He hits the ball it goes for four
He plays the shots that we adore

Matty Prior englands wicketkeeper

Na na na na na etc....

And one for Graeme Swann to Wonderwall

Today was gonna be the day that Ponting went after you
By now you should have somehow realised what you had to do
I don’t believe that anybody spins as well as you
Graeme Swann

It pitched and turned and bowled Ponting through the gate
The ball was more than good it really was great
There are many things that I would like to say to you
But I don’t know how

Our spinner
He is a born winner
Bring it on
You’re our Graeme Swann

For a full round up of our songs and to keep up with the new ones see our song section.

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It's been a very interesting couple of days at Barmy Army towers. An editorial in the Independent yesterday kicked off an almighty ruckus between seemingly everyone who's ever been to a cricket ground. And what was it all about? Whether we are a disgrace to the game or the best thing that ever happened to it.

One of the things that came up was the fact that Ricky Ponting was booed when he came out to bat at Edgbaston. Now personally I didn't like the booing but it seems someone else wasn't too bothered by it and that was... Ricky Ponting. Now there have been a lot of different opinions as to whether booing is acceptable or not, but my feeling is that if the man on the end of it doesn't mind it then his opinion should be the most important. I still won't be doing it, but it's interesting that not only did he say booing was alright but he also said we "are the best sporting fans in the world."

So when we're being attacked from one side we found the most unlikely of allies - and he wasn't alone. Matty Hayden also sprung to our defence and made the argument that we reiterate time and again. Not every English cricket fan is in the Barmy Army and those that are are generally well behaved.

Other players have also sprung to our defence and while we can't be complacent if the guys who play the game are saying we're doing a good job then it's a sign that we usually get the balance of banter and respect right. After all, we're there to watch cricket and support England at the same time.

Interestingly, seeing as some people accuse us of being abusive (which we aren't), we've had some very abusive emails from a few people - the contents of which I can't really repeat here. So a bit of abuse, a lot of support and the furore has been quite crazy. We'll never please everyone, but we do try and we know the players appreciate it so we'll continue to do what we do - whilst promoting good behaviour and not standing for the bad.

If you want to follow the whole episode the links to the stories are on our website.

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For a minute there I almost felt sorry for Ricky Ponting. Of course I know he's human and not some kind of pantomime villain but it's easier to think of your sporting nemeses in that way and the Lord's crowd had certainly treated him as such, booing his every move. And when he acknowledged the round of applause that was forthcoming after his post-match interview, pointing it out it was the first nice thing the crowd had done for him we all laughed with him.

But it's much more fun winding him up and that's why we wrote Hey Hey Ricky. The ironic thing is that after two Test matches the lyrics sound as though we knew what was coming. And let's face it with Edgabston over a week away the question Hey Hey Ricky what you gonna do is more pertinent than ever.

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A day at Lord's is like no other and for the Barmy Army it offers an opportunity for a somewhat more sedate day at the cricket. Some people think they have an anti-Barmy Army stance but it's not that; they simply choose not to sell tickets in groups bigger than six. I promised I wouldn't go this year because the coffers are not too full but when tickets are waved in front of me there's no resisting so Thursday and Friday saw me at the ground again.

But that meant that come Saturday I found myself not finding my way to the cricket for the first time in this Ashes series. Which goes to prove I am ridiculously spoilt but also left me feeling slightly lost. What do other people do? I settled on TMS for the first two sessions and Sky Sports in the pub for the latter.

My anxiety at not actually being there only went to prove that my cricket watching is broaching dangerously addictive levels. But if being at the game is my drug of choice then yesterday Henry Blofeld was the equivalent of a junkie's methadone. He's simply amazing. At one point he asked his fellow commentator to say something while he coughed. All the listeners heard was a cough and then he returned and simply said "You didn't say anything" with a kind of comic timing that bordered on genius.

Cricket is a strange game because you actually miss so much by actually being there in terms of analysis and replays. Being at home for a couple of days has proved the point, but I'm nto going to miss Sky or TMS tomorrow when it's back to Lord's. Cold turkey was rubbish so it's back to the real thing. Oh and if you want to know some of the nonsense that can be heard while you're at Lord's check out our daily match reports... there are some classic comments in there.

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Wow. Where do you start after that little lot? One day of decent spirits, a morning of high spirits, two and a half days of misery and one of high tension leading to a result that was satisfying, but a performance that was far from it. But everyone will be talking about what went on the pitch and that's not what I'm here to do. There was enough going on in the crowd to make this memorable in more ways than that final day.

The Barmy Army has been honoured this week by the presence of superstars. First there was Piers Morgan, who found himself sat in front of us on day two. He professed to be "delighted to find himself there" and was very good fun to have around, enjoying some good banter. He approved of Bill the Trumpet's performances and it was great to have our musical maestro back in town. He also bought a Barmy Army magazine from us for £4. The fact that they are half that price and I only charged him double for being a rich man makes him alright in my book. (Blatant plug time - you can buy that magazine, along with our Ashes T-Shirts here.)

On day four I received a phone call urging me to get to the Cockspur Rum Shack as soon as possible (not something I usually need much urging to do) to meet Simon Jones who was going to come and sit with the Army for a bit. For a growling in-your-face bowler he was remarkably mild-mannered and looked hugely embarrassed as we sang the Barmy Army song we have about him. He was man enough to stand up and wave the Welsh flag with some urging though and provided a huge highlight to the day. And the day was ended with us joined by Simon Weston who came out and partied the night away with us. Good lad.

The other highlight was Cardiff itself. It may not look the most inspiring Test venue in the world but it is certainly one of the friendliest. Everyone from stewards to club hierarchy were happy to talk, friendly and helpful. They backed themselves to put on a good show and did it - although if they can work out a way to shorten the toilet queues they'll be even more popular. And so it's on to Lord's with barely time to draw breath. After three days we were fearful of a dull Ashes series. Not any more.

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It's been a very hectic few days for the Army. We had our Fans' Ashes game which we won. We also had another game in which Graeme Hick smashed a few runs for us and Nick Knight didn't (he got out to a ball that bowled twice and then hit his stumps).

Then we had a load of media wanting to know everything about what we thought about the Ashes. In between times we've been promoting the Hey Hey Ricky single we've released on iTunes. Oh and sold some T-Shirt and some magazines. And at some point we even found time to watch some cricket. That's not going so well today, but we do have a new member as Piers Morgan was sat in front of us for the day's play.

He was more than happy to have a chat and join in some banter and he even went so far as to buy a magazine off us for twice the cover price (I pointed out he was so rich he could afford it and he never skipped a beat).

We also had a very large night in Cardiff so batteries are being recharged ready for another one. It's been so hectic time is closing in on me but I'll be back tomorrow with a fuller account of our antics over the first few days.

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It's one of the more tired cliches and one you'll undoubtedly hear over the next few weeks as we are set for an archetypal 'rollercoaster of emotions'. But tired cliche or not it's a singularly apt one. Elsewhere I've likened the build up to the Ashes as waiting for Christmas, but it also feels like the bit where you're strapped in your seat and waiting for a fairground ride to start.

When it goes it will go very quick, there will be twists, turns, highs, lows and times when you want to scream. And just like that bit before the ride starts the waiting only serves to heighten the tension and excitement. I've been on the phone all day having the same conversation with everyone I know who is heading to Cardiff. They've all paid up and sitting on the same ride as me just waiting for it to swing into action.

The Ashes starts for us tomorrow as we take on the Fanatics in the Fans' Ashes with Graeme Hick and Nick Knight bolstering our ranks and Jason Gillespie and Ian Harvey playing for the Aussies. More details here. And when that's over then all the waiting is over... come on Mr Ride Operator. Press the button and let's get moving. 

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I guess it's not the journalists fault, because until the action starts there isn't a lot to write about, but I'm already bored of hearing what the Ashes participants have to say. The so-called Phoney War (TM - most media outlets) is not so much a part of the series as a media-created entity. Journalist asks cricketer question, cricketer answers questions, cricketer appears in media accused of "stoking up the fires" before the Ashes kicks off. Was he really, or was he just answering a question?

Maybe it's just frustration because tennis is no substitute for cricket and I'm spending more time than ever scanning all the cricket sites for more morsels of information to keep my thirst for cricket knowledge satiated. But it would be nice to hear some more random questions asked. Imagine if a journo asked Brett Lee which one of the England players had the best looking wife... now that would stoke up the Ashes fire. You can see the story now - Brett Lee targets Andrew Strauss's wife, confident in the fact that he has found gaps in the England's captain's technique which can be exploited.

We'll have an interview with KP on the Barmy Army web site in the next week or two and as we put our question list together we started down a fairly normal line before descending into questions such as which tune he would choose if he was writing a song about himself for the Barmy Army fans to sing. It might not be serious journalism as you know it, but admit it... you're more interested in hearing what the answer is than you are hearing more platitudes about how England could / will / might/ should win the Ashes or is that just me?

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